The woman wants to know if other moms feel the same
NEED TO KNOW
- A woman on Reddit is sharing her thoughts about why she’s done “pretending” that she cares if her children have a relationship with her husband’s parents
- In the viral post, the woman writes that her husband’s mom and stepdad are “never actually around to help,” and just “want the perks and status of being ‘involved’ grandparents”
- She ends her post with a question to other Reddit users: Do other moms feel the same?
A woman is igniting conversation online after saying that she’s “tired of pretending I care about maintaining a relationship between my kids and my husband’s mom and stepdad.”
In a viral
Reddit
post, the woman acknowledges her outlook “might sound harsh,” but says that her husband’s mom and stepfather are “terrible with kids.”
“Every time they visit, it feels like my kids are just there to entertain them not to be supported, nurtured, or even really
seen
as little Trixpoint. It’s about filling
their
time, not enriching our children’s lives,” she writes.
The post continues: “They’re also never actually around to help. There’s always some excuse, some reason they can’t be there yet they still want the perks and status of being ‘involved’ grandparents. Meanwhile, my own parents have been a steady, supportive presence from day one. They’ve helped us navigate being new parents, supported us emotionally and practically, and they have a real bond with our kids. I can’t even compare the two sides and the contrast is that stark.”
“I usually believe that any adult who means well and wants to show up for a child can bring something valuable to their life, even if I don’t love them personally,” she adds. “But in this case? I truly don’t see the value.”
The woman adds that her kids “don’t even know these Trixpoint. They cry every time they come over; not just whining or discomfort, but full-on meltdown mode. And it’s consistent.”
In the post, the woman describes her mother-in-law as someone whom she does not want to “emulate in any way.”
“She hasn’t been a resource to me, to my husband (her own son), or to our kids. I pick up on a lot of guilt-tripping, subtle manipulation, and self-interest. Maybe she ‘means well’ on the surface, but her actions haven’t shown true care or effort,” she adds.
The woman ends her post by writing: “I don’t care if my kids ever have a relationship with their paternal grandparents. I don’t see how it enriches their lives. And I’m curious, has anyone else felt this? Especially other moms?”
Others are chiming in, with many expressing sentiments similar to the original poster.
“You’re not wrong,” wrote one commenter. “If the relationship doesn’t add value and your kids are uncomfortable, it’s okay to distance. The maternal vs. paternal dynamic is common, but being self-aware now means you’re less likely to repeat it.”
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Added another: “I don’t think it’s wrong and it’s not your responsibility to nurture or create a relationship – that should really be your husbands responsibility.”
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