Manchild magnet? You’re not alone. Sabrina Carpenter’s
new single, “Manchild,”
is for all of us who can’t seem to get away from incompetent men. We all know the type: His mom still does his laundry, he spends his time on Discord instead of in therapy, and he’s now in your DMs. But it’s not always easy to spot a manchild. He might be cute and charming and take you out to boba and meet your family and then reveal what a slimy little dirtbag he is… too specific? Just me? As Sabrina said, “I swear they choose me, I’m not choosing them.”
So, how do we figure out who’s a man versus a manchild? It seems impossible, especially in the world of online dating. “While ‘manchild’ certainly is not a scientific term, it is often used to describe an emotionally immature person,”
Hily’s relationship expert
, Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, tells Her Campus. “In especially problematic scenarios, the manchild may be intentionally acting in an incompetent manner so as to evoke the need for their partner’s care. Essentially, this means they are playing up their inability to manage things so that others do it for them, which can be manipulative.”
Wait, you’re telling me a man would be manipulative on purpose? Shocking. So, how in the world do we avoid ’em? Cohen has a cheat sheet, and three big questions to ask your match to find out if they are, in fact, a manchild.
“How do you deal with tough moments?”
Relationships are bound to get tough, and you’re going to need a partner who can offer support when things get rocky. “Do they have some solid coping strategies? Or do they just kind of wing it? Their answer can tell you a lot—like if they’re self-aware, whether they stick it out when things get rough, and how well they keep their cool (or not),” Cohen says. “Plus, it’s a handy way to see if they’ve got some emotional maturity going on.”
According to Cohen, there are a few signs to look out for beforehand: “If they’re always bailing when things get tough or dodging anything difficult, that might be a red flag,” she says. “Not exactly the kind of person you want by your side when life throws a curveball!”
“What does self-care mean to you?”
Self-care is the code word here. Translation: How does this man take care of himself (if at all)? “You’ll get a sense of what they need, how they handle things, and maybe even how they deal with stress or think about mental health,” says Cohen. The less obvious red flag to look out for here is a too-perfect response. Does it sound like Chat GPT wrote it?
If his answer sounds ridiculously polished, Cohen says, “it indicates they were more focused on having a ‘perfect’ answer than actually thinking about their own needs.”
“What are you most proud of? And how did you make it happen?”
This is a two-part question, so it covers a lot of ground. “You’ll hear about their big wins and how they handled any curveballs along the way,” says Cohen, “It’s also a solid way to see if they can roll with the punches, chase after what they want, and actually put in the work to get there.”
Ambitious, hardworking, and adaptable… yup, definitely
not
a manchild. Plus, this one is super easy to integrate into a first date or ask through the DMs. People love talking about their passions. If he doesn’t, or brushes it off, pay attention. It could mean he avoids tough tasks or lacks drive. Classic manchild.
If your love life is starting to feel like the extended cut of “Manchild,” take time in the beginning to dig deep and learn about his emotional maturity, and you’ll save a lot of time and heartache in the long run. If he rolls his eyes, says it’s dumb, or acts like you’re asking too much, girl, Sabrina already gave us the word for that:
manchild.
The post
3 Questions To Ask Before You End Up Babysitting Your Boyfriend
first appeared on
Her Campus
.
